Forgiveness Brings Freedom

Several days ago I was speaking with a man at the Wellness Center where My Love and I try to exercise 4 or 5 times a week. This fellow, whom I had only met for the first time the day before, was complaining loudly and at length about a perceived injustice that he had experienced from a local business. The longer he waxed on about this the more upset he became. When asked if he had spoken to the management about this, he said he had, but did not get the desired response from them. So he said that his plan was to "tell everyone he met" about his problem. He didn't want to "get over it", he wanted to "get even".

Since that encounter with him, I have been reflecting on how easy it is to imprison myself in the bondage of resentment. By hanging on to perceived injuries, I am the only one who continues to suffer; I am the one who gives the past its hold over me by continually pumping life into it in the present moment. I grant others power over my behaviors and reactions by keeping the supposed injury alive in my consciousness. I am the one who repeatedly tears open the wound of a long-past situation thereby preventing healing from taking place.

Only in forgiveness can I let go of hurtful experiences and be free of the influence that they wield over me. Only in the act of forgiving another can I break the bonds that enslave me to the past, thereby freeing me to experience the new life that the present holds out to me. As I open my hands to release the past pain, I ready myself to grasp the gift of peace God is offering right now. God lives only in the present, not in past hurts, nor in future worries.

At times I don't even WANT to forgive the other person. Then I must begin by praying for the grace to want to forgive. When I reach the point of desiring to forgive, then I soon realize that the actual pardoning of another is not just a once-and-for-all event. Sometimes this letting go must be done over and over again in order for it to sink to the roots of the injury.

For a beautiful, descriptive presentation of the freeing power of forgiveness in our lives, pick up the book, The Shack, by William P Young. It depicts the journey from bondage to freedom that is available to each one of us when we are open to the mystery of God's healing love.

What past hurtful moments/events come to your mind without effort? Is this the time that God wants to help you let go, to forgive? Is now the opportunity for new freedom?

Assessment Time

As we come to the end of March, it's a good time to evaluate the journey that we have traveled over the last two months of this blog. Time to assess what has been happening and where we are going. This is the opportunity for you, Blog Followers (BFs), to let your voices be heard.

There are a number of questions that I would like to pose for your comments, questions whose answers will help me figure out the future direction.

1. Should this blog continue? Is it something that you want to follow, that you find entertaining or helpful?

2. Are there changes that you would like to suggest, either in format or content?

3. Do you have questions that you would like to have considered in upcoming posts?

4. Are you able to utilize the "Comment" directions in the left hand column? If you are having trouble posting a comment, please email me at franklreicks1@yahoo.com. Let me know if the comment function is not working or is too complicated so that I can make the necessary adjustments.

These past two months of writing this blog have proven to be both a challenge and a blessing for me. I have enjoyed the opportunity to pull together my thoughts and reflections into a (hopefully) readable format that others can enjoy and find beneficial. Yet, at the same time, the lack of response has left me wondering (1) Whether anyone is reading what I'm writing; (2) Should I continue with this project into the future.

Your feedback, BFs, preferably through the "Comment" function, or at least through the above listed email, will be seriously considered. Thank you.

Under The Circumstances

A friend greeted me recently: "So, how are you doing?" Says I: "Pretty good under the circumstances." Without hesitation he responded: "What are you doing under there?"

After picking myself up off the floor, I began to reflect on what he was saying to me. Do I let situations and circumstances dictate how I am feeling? Am I controlled by what is going on around me, by what others do or don't do? Does something so simple as the weather affect my outlook and attitude for the day?

Or do I truly operate out of the center of my own being, out of the belief that God is in charge and therefore I am at peace. Does my equanimity reflect my trust in an all-powerful and all-loving God? Another friend said to me many years ago: "If you believe that Jesus is Lord, then an earthquake shouldn't shake you up!" I guess that even applies to a hurricane!

Many times I know this in my head, but it's my stomach that has a hard time catching up. Often my belief has to sink down from my head into my heart so that I can really be at peace, even though the circumstances are threatening to overwhelm me. I'm reminded of my friend, Greg, who says: "When you are up to your waist in alligators, it's hard to remember that you came in to drain the swamp."

What are your circumstances today? Are you under them, or on top of them? Where do you want to be?

Humility=Honesty

A few years ago there was a song with the line "O Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way!" Although it was a tongue-in-cheek hit, there was a certain element of truth contained just under the surface.

Humility as a virtue has had a bad press. It is generally seen as a "face in the dirt" kind of existence, one that is not very attractive or popular. As a take-off on the Beatitude "Blessed are the humble for they shall inherit the earth", there was a line in a musical which stated, "It's not the earth that they inherit, but the dirt." This comes from the mistaken impression that to be humble means I must adopt an attitude that says "I'm no good. I can't do anything. Everyone else is better than me."

Yet, in the Scriptures, this is anything but the truth. Jesus says: "Take my yoke and learn from me for I am gentle and humble of heart" (Matt 11:29). This is the same Jesus who healed the sick, confronted the Pharisees, made a cord and drove the money changers from the temple. He was anything but a Casper Milquetoast. Jesus knew who He was, why He had come, and what His Father's calling was for Him. He didn't deny it, but stepped out in strength and honesty to confront whatever evil, sickness or corruption that He encountered in the power given Him by the Spirit of His Father in service of others.

I believe that true humility is nothing more than honesty. Humility means knowing who I am, who God is, and what is the true relationship between the two of us. All three of those elements are critically important.

Who I am. I am first of all a Redeemed Sinner. That is, I have my shortcomings, my failings, my limitations, my sins. At times this is obvious to me; at other times I can bury my head in the sand and pretend that it is not true. But when I am willing to accept the reality of my sinfulness, then I am in the privileged position to experience the second part of this reality: I am a REDEEMED sinner. From that comes my true glory and value.

Following upon the acceptance of this reality comes the freedom to acknowledge all the gifts and talents with which I have been endowed by God. Yes, I can do THIS. Yes, I have the ability to accomplish THAT. Yes, I do have special abilities that no one else has. All this makes me unique and special, not because of me, but because of the One who has blessed me. As Mary says in the Gospel of Luke: "All ages to come shall call me blessed for God who is mighty has done great things for me" (1:48-49). This is acknowledging who God is, the origin of all that we are and have. This is part of living in proper relationship to God.

Herein lies the honesty that is real humility. Not poo-pooing the gifts, downplaying our talents, denying God's goodness in us, but rather acknowledging them, accepting them and freely sharing them with the world around us. After all, they are not given for our own self-aggrandizement, but for the service of others.

A person who has always struck me as genuinely humble in this sense is my mother-in-law. When she is complimented or praised for something, she simply says: "Thank you." She acknowledges it, she accepts it, and she gives it in service for others. She blesses others by being a blessing.

How can you grow in true honesty, true humility?

What Are Your Goggles?

There is a country western song entitled "Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On". It is about how drinking too much beer affects Billy's perception of reality around him.

This set me thinking about the goggles that I wear or have worn throughout my life. The various viewpoints I've held that have affected the way that I perceived life, people, relationships, the world, etc.

When I served as a priest, I viewed things through the goggles of the Catholic Church. People, relationships, lifestyles, finances, medical science, scripture, worship - everything was filtered through the teachings and stance of the Church. Whether I agreed with that viewpoint was not the issue. Only that there was that set of goggles which affected how I saw and related to reality around me.

As a nursing home administrator, I found that my goggles changed. There is life after/outside the perspective of the Church. Not that they were opposed to each other, or even in conflict. Only that now I saw things from the point of view of ministering to people who were nearing the end of their lives, or to the families of those folks, and doing it while observing the many State and Federal regulations involved. It was also to be done within the parameters of the company that hired me in such a way as to make a profit. It was a different set of realities, and my goggles changed accordingly.

Now as I find myself in the automotive industry, another set of goggles is available to me. I am especially aware of those goggles because the owner/boss that I am working with has been in this industry for 40+ years. Of necessity, he eats, drinks, sleeps and lives automobiles, their sales, trades and repairs. Reality seen through his eyes has a definite slant or perspective.

As I reflect on the various goggles that I have worn (and there are many other smaller sets that I have not mentioned), I have come to two conclusions. First of all, I see the importance of not identifying myself with the goggles at any time. I am not any one of the various viewpoints that I lived through in my lifetime. These are simply perspectives on reality that I carried for a time.

Secondly, no set of goggles is the same as the reality that they perceive. Reality is set apart from any particular viewpoint or filter through which it is viewed. In other words, the Catholic viewpoint, the nursing home viewpoint, the auto dealer viewpoint is just that -- a perception of reality that is both insightful and distorting at the same time. Insightful because it gives a deeper perception into life; but distorting because it is limited to the narrow confines of this one perspective.

I am reminded of the story of the four blind men trying to describe an elephant. The one holding the tail described it as similar to a rope. With his arms around a leg, the second man waxed eloquent comparing the elephant to a tree. The third man, with his hands around the trunk, assured the others that the beast was like a fire hose. Finally, the fourth man, taking hold of the ear, contended that the animal was like a large, tough leaf. All were right, but not completely; all were also wrong, but not totally.

No matter what goggles we wear, it is important for us to realize the limitations as well as the benefits of our perspective. That is especially true where God, faith and church are concerned. God is bigger than any of our perceptions. God is distinct from all of our views. What freedom there is in knowing that.

What are your goggles? How do they help/hinder you?

To Worry or Not To Worry

Yesterday I received an email from a dear friend with the following questions:

"I would like to know your opinion , what is your feeling when something really worries you?

How do you let go? What do people do, to leave the baggage at the feet of Jesus or in the hands of God? I hear friends say "Let go and let God." How do I let go of the worry and not take it back?"

These are questions that deal with two different issues with which we all struggle from time to time. The most basic of issues involved are: Trust, and Control. Can I REALLY trust that God is in charge of my life? Can I REALLY trust that God has my best interest at heart? Can I truly believe that, as St Paul says: "Everything works together for good for those who love God, those whom God has chosen according to His own purposes" (Romans 8:28)? Or do I need to keep one hand on the steering wheel just in case God doesn't go in the right direction? It is one thing to SAY that I believe that God wants only good for me, and quite another to let the reality settle from my head down into my heart, my stomach, my gut where the worrying takes place.

The second issue of Control touches on something so deep within us that many times we are not even aware of it. Who/what is in control of my life? Who/what do I allow to "call the shots" for me? Do I say that I have surrendered my life to God, to Jesus? Do I allow God's plan to unfold even when I don't like it? Or do I feel that I must control my own destiny? It is relatively easy to "Let go and Let God" when things are going the way that I want them to go. But when others do not act according MY plan, and things in my life are messed up, then I have more difficulty in letting go.

Someone once told me that "Worry is a down payment on a future event that probably won't happen." It set me to thinking about how much energy I waste when I worry, energy that could be more constructively used in living in the present, dealing with current issues, enjoying present pleasures, instead of focusing on tomorrow.

So, how do I "Let go and let God"? I do it moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. It is never done once and for all. I let go of something with one hand, only to take it back with the other, only to let go of it once again. It seems that the more quickly I let go of something, the more readily I'm able to let go of it the next time I find that I have taken it back. Important for me is not to hang on to anything too long. As soon as I realize that I have taken it back, I need to turn right around and place it into the loving hands of God once again. This pattern repeats itself over and over. Is it easy? No! But it does seem to become easier the more often I do it.

As a side note, I find that the support of a loving faith community provides a huge assist in letting go. The sooner that I share my worry/concern with another in faith, the quicker and easier it becomes to release it into God's hands. By opening my worried heart to another, I let in the healing Spirit of God that deepens my Trust and helps me to surrender my Control to God who wants to make "everything work together for good". This is truly a case of "practice makes perfect", but with the realization that it will never be finished until I leave this life.

For a beautiful reflection on this issue of worry, go to the blog of my niece, Gitzen Girl. Just click on that link to be blessed by her experience and the experience of many of her followers. We all struggle with the same questions in different circumstances, and different ways.

Pickled Herring

A jar of pickled herring sits in our refrigerator, waiting to be enjoyed. Those little morsels are wonderful on a cracker or corn chip while sipping on a glass of wine. A relaxing happy hour while watching the news with My Love.

But I can't relish those pickled herring without recalling my Father, who died in 1971. At the beginning of each Lenten season, he would get a jar of pickled herring squares. He would munch on those herring pieces throughout the Lenten season, until finally Easter would arrive about the time that the bottom of the jar was reached. To this day, I don't know if he actually enjoyed the pickled herring, or if it was one of the penances that he took upon himself for that penitential season. This is one of the mysteries of my youth that remain with me today.

My Father remains for me a pillar of strength and faith. He was quiet, not easily riled, and always willing to help anyone in need. His largeness of heart reached out and touched many people, as was evidenced by the fact that his funeral was the largest one ever in our parish church. For me, his life is best summarized in his favorite prayer, the "Serenity Prayer".

"Lord, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference."

He was not one who was afraid to become involved, especially in his Church. My memory of him includes him actively engaged as one of the men who counted the collection after the Sunday Masses, going with one of his trucks to help haul things around the church property that needed to be transported, ushering in church, and many other occasions of service. If there was a need that he could meet, he was there.

I don't recall him ever getting angry. He seemed to be able to accept life as it came at him, and to accept people the way they presented themselves. Truly he seemed to have the wisdom to know the difference.

One night, a month or two after he had died very unexpectedly in September, 1971, I had a dream in which my Father came to me. I began to argue with him, saying that he was not supposed to be there because he was dead. But he said that he was only there to tell me that everything was OK. There was nothing to be concerned about. That was so typical of him, and I found it to be very reassuring.

However I was unable to ask him about the pickled herring and his reason for eating it during Lent. That is just one of the questions that will have to wait until I meet him again after I die.

Random Acts of Kindness

Yesterday on our morning Bible sharing, Clar was describing an incident she witnessed the day before at her place of employment. While working as a checker at WalMart, a woman came through her checkout line with a number of items. When totaled up, the bill was $6.00 more than she could afford, so she said that she would have to do without some of her selections. As she was trying to decide which things she could dispense with, the man behind her handed Clar a $20 bill and said that he would cover the extra expense. Then he added: "And give her (the woman) the change."

Such a Random Act of Kindness no doubt meant a lot to the woman who was shopping for items she needed for her life. I would guess that she left that store feeling just a little more positive about life and about people if not to say relieved.

That Random Act of Kindness also touched Clar as she recalled it as a highpoint of her day, a day which saw many people passing through her checkout line. This action made enough of an impact on her that she felt compelled to tell us about it during our sharing time.

Finally, it touched the rest of us in our Bible sharing group as she revealed the incident to us. In fact, it so impressed me that I began reflecting on it throughout the day. And here I am passing it on to you, Blog Followers, in my Musings. I have even found myself looking for my own opportunities to perform some Random Act of Kindness.

Like a pebble dropped into a still pond, a single Random Act of Kindness sends ripples out in ever-expanding circles. No one can engage in such a RAK and remain untouched, unchanged. Such a spontaneous gesture reverberates into eternity.

Please tell me in the Comments below: How have you been touched by someone else's Random Act of Kindness? or How have you bestowed a Random Act of Kindness on someone else and how did that change you? or Relate a Random Act of Kindness that you observed someone else engaging in.

By such simple acts the world becomes a better place. These gestures, more than government programs, change people's lives. These make God present today.

Needs, Wants, Desires

For the last 5+ months I have been working in an auto dealership as Financial/Business Manager. It has been a challenging, stretching, educational and enjoyable time as I've been learning a whole new culture, vocabulary and system. Plus I've had the pleasure of working with some friendly people.

The owner/manager, my boss, often says that people have "needs, wants and desires". Because of this, they will be around to purchase new or at least different vehicles. Some need a different car or truck because their present vehicle has died, been wrecked, or is otherwise unserviceable. And they still need to get from point A to point B.

Others want a different vehicle because they've had the current one too long, it's too big and uses too much gas, or for whatever reason they have found to justify/rationalize this purchase.

Finally, some people just desire a new/different car or truck for no reason at all. But they are able and willing to make a purchase at this point.

These three groups of people make the auto business possible because here in rural Iowa, there is no public transportation available, and people still wish to travel outside their homes. No one is ready to accept a future of staying at home.

All this set me thinking about the present economic crisis in which we find ourselves embroiled. Perhaps one of the good things that is going to come of it is that people will once again learn to distinguish between their needs and their wants/desires. With the limited resources facing us, personally and as a people, perhaps we will discover that our needs are really very few. Not much is required to meet the real needs of our life.

It seems to me that many people have backed themselves into a financial corner because they have confused their wants with their needs. By becoming slaves to their own wants and desires, they have put themselves on an endless treadmill with no end in sight.

Our wants and desires stretch beyond the horizon, thereby making us restless and unhappy. Modern advertising paints a continually changing picture of unlimited wants and desires. Confusing our wants/desires with our needs only stirs up dissatisfaction and discontent with our present situation since it is impossible to satisfy them all.

This is not to say that we should not have dreams or goals. Nor is it to say that we should be satisfied with being less than our best. Obviously, God calls us to be all that we have been created to be, to use our gifts and talents for others, for the good of the world. But part of that process is to be able to distinguish between our own needs and our wants or desires.

If we can learn to focus on meeting our needs, and being satisfied when that has happened, wouldn't we be much more content? Wouldn't it be great to be free of the pressure of the unlimited wants/desires created by modern advertising? Wouldn't we be more ready to notice the needs of others and work to help them?

Where are you on the needs/wants/desires spectrum? How can you learn to distinguish between them and grow in freedom?

It's All About Family

This past weekend My Love's niece, Janet, her husband Rob and their three children blessed our home with a visit. Ben ("I'm four and a half"), Ella (3), and little Alaina (10 months) entertained us and enjoyed swimming in our local rec center on Saturday afternoon. This was followed by games and a late supper.

Then on Sunday morning we went to church and out to the home of My Love's sister, Annette and her husband, Jim, for brunch. Even with the snow and sleet, we all had a wonderful time.

What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy family once again. During our 12 years in south Texas, it was only occasionally possible to be present for gatherings and events of our families. Our annual trip north forced us to cram in as much "quick" visits as possible for graduations, anniversaries, or whatever else we could squeeze in. But we were aware that we missed out on much.

Now, thanks to the blessing of Hurricane Dolly, we are back here in Iowa. This affords us many opportunities, some of them daily, to participate in family events, enjoy family presences, assist with family needs, and reconnect with family members.

As I get older, I see more and more clearly that family is the first and most important human relationship. As My Love is wont to say: Family is a love you can count on. What a blessing we have, and how grateful we are to be back here in Iowa where we can spend a weekend getting to know the next generation of our families. And how encouraging it is to see the tremendous job these young parents are doing in guiding and shaping the youngsters who have been placed in their care.

God is truly good, and getting better all the time!

What's Your Message?

Email is a great way to communicate quickly with other people. Though I'm sure that those who are into text messaging would say that email is outdated. However, since I'm not into TM, I'm satisfied with using old fashioned methods like email, and even the telephone!

Recently I've been aware of how some people utilize email to disseminate negative information, negative opinions, negative feelings and prejudices. It's almost like they are a cauldron filled with poisonous liquid, and by bumping against them through the email, that liquid spills over and splashes on me. I feel blemished and tarnished from the exposure and contact.

The second category of missives that I do not appreciate are those that have a religious message which ends with some kind of guilt statement, i.e., if I don't send this on, then I am denying my faith or failing to profess it. Another type of this message is the good/bad fortune promise: if I just send this to X number of people I will receive a surprise, if I don't something terrible will happen.

Just on principle, I delete both of these missives. In my judgment, if the message does not build people up, help them to laugh or at least smile, feel better about themselves or the world we live in, then it does not deserve to be forwarded. There is no blessing in spreading negative energy in our world. There is enough of that already.

What a gift and treasure it is to be able to communicate with people in the rapid manners that are available to us. What a positive impact we can have when we use those methods to draw closer to one another, to improve our world a little bit.

It All Depends...

Last Saturday evening, many of the employees from my place of work gathered at the local bowling alley for a party. It was a good time of fun, food, drink and fellowship as we ate pizza, enjoyed a few beers and laughed together while throwing bowling balls at pins.

One of the things I observed during the bowling was that many of the men rolled the ball as hard as they could, apparently trying to "kill" as many pins as possible. Sometimes it worked, sometimes they found only the gutter.

On the other hand, one of the women simply rolled the ball down the alley at a slow, leisurely pace. It would take a while to reach the pins, but most of the time, when it finally arrived, it was in the right area, and she would get a strike. She had one of the higher scores for the evening.

Yesterday morning on our bible study call, we were reflecting on the topic: "Dependence on God", and especially the verse from Zechariah 4:6, "Not by power, nor by might but by my Spirit says the Lord of Hosts." How often we depend on our own strength, our own ideas, our own way of doing things, thinking that we know best. God is waiting to take our hand, lead us through the darkness, pain, struggle, difficulty that we find ourselves in. Yet, so often we think that we must do it alone, or that we must prove something using only our own power and might.

It is always amazing to me that each person, each generation seems to operate under the impression that history began at the moment that they set foot upon this earth. Nothing that preceded their birth has any value, and certainly not any wisdom or knowledge from which they could gain insight. As a result, each generation, and even each individual has to relearn the lessons of history, make the same mistakes that others have suffered through.

What we are invited to do through the stories of our ancestors in the faith, both in our own families and in the Scriptures, is to see the pattern that we all go through. We try to live by our own strength, our own plan. Then we stumble, fall on our faces. If we are down low enough, we look up, cry out for help, and then God comes to our aid and lifts us up. We go along for a while, hand in hand with God. Then we think that we can do it on our own again, that we don't need God. So, the cycle begins all over again.

Our greatest sin is not that we do terrible things, like lie, cheat, steal or kill others. Our greatest sin is that we FORGET! We forget that we depend upon God for every breath we take. We forget that without God we can do nothing. We forget all the times that God has been faithful to us. We forget the many occasions when God has saved our hide (literally and figuratively!). We FORGET -- and then we act as though God is not there.

What a wonderful opportunity Lent is to REMEMBER! To remember Who God Is, who I am, and how the two are connected. It's not by my might or my power that I will knock down the pins of life, but by the Spirit of God. What a relief that is. Would that I could remember it always!

Why Lenten Penance?

Last Friday at work a fellow worker asked me the question: "Why do Catholics not eat meat on Fridays during Lent?" It was a legitimate question since several of us were eating fish sandwiches. But behind the question was a deeper one: What is the value of penance, of self-denial?

At first, I answered the query in a flippant manner, saying that it was due to the story in the gospel after Easter. Jesus appeared to the apostles who were out fishing. When he inquired whether they had caught anything, they said No. Then he told them to throw the nets on the other side of the boat, whereupon they caught so many fish that the nets were nearly breaking. So, I said that ever since, we have been eating fish on Fridays to get rid of that supply.

But then, seriously, I told them that our choice to limit our diets was an attempt to recognize that we have hungers that cannot be met by ordinary food. When we deny ourselves something that we would like to have, it is a way for us to acknowledge that fact as we plug into the deeper hungers within, in particular the hunger for love, joy, peace, etc. These hungers can ultimately be met only by our relationship with God in Jesus.

In our world of instant gratification, it is rather unusual for us to deny ourselves anything at anytime. That seems to run contrary to the current. Yet if we are going to truly Choose Life in each moment, we need to say No to those things that are not life-giving in the long run. That is not always easy to distinguish in the immediate circumstances. Since we can be easily controlled by some of our impulses, it is helpful to choose to curb those impulses by simple things, like not eating meat on Fridays.

The only reason for any penance during Lent is to make us more aware of the Lord's life within us. If it does not accomplish that, then it is only an empty gesture. If my penance becomes a burden for others, then I better question its true value and reassess my priorities, choices, and direction. Lent is not to be a burden, but an opportunity for growth in faith and love. Anything else is a waste of time.