Several days ago I was speaking with a man at the Wellness Center where My Love and I try to exercise 4 or 5 times a week. This fellow, whom I had only met for the first time the day before, was complaining loudly and at length about a perceived injustice that he had experienced from a local business. The longer he waxed on about this the more upset he became. When asked if he had spoken to the management about this, he said he had, but did not get the desired response from them. So he said that his plan was to "tell everyone he met" about his problem. He didn't want to "get over it", he wanted to "get even".
Since that encounter with him, I have been reflecting on how easy it is to imprison myself in the bondage of resentment. By hanging on to perceived injuries, I am the only one who continues to suffer; I am the one who gives the past its hold over me by continually pumping life into it in the present moment. I grant others power over my behaviors and reactions by keeping the supposed injury alive in my consciousness. I am the one who repeatedly tears open the wound of a long-past situation thereby preventing healing from taking place.
Only in forgiveness can I let go of hurtful experiences and be free of the influence that they wield over me. Only in the act of forgiving another can I break the bonds that enslave me to the past, thereby freeing me to experience the new life that the present holds out to me. As I open my hands to release the past pain, I ready myself to grasp the gift of peace God is offering right now. God lives only in the present, not in past hurts, nor in future worries.
At times I don't even WANT to forgive the other person. Then I must begin by praying for the grace to want to forgive. When I reach the point of desiring to forgive, then I soon realize that the actual pardoning of another is not just a once-and-for-all event. Sometimes this letting go must be done over and over again in order for it to sink to the roots of the injury.
For a beautiful, descriptive presentation of the freeing power of forgiveness in our lives, pick up the book, The Shack, by William P Young. It depicts the journey from bondage to freedom that is available to each one of us when we are open to the mystery of God's healing love.
What past hurtful moments/events come to your mind without effort? Is this the time that God wants to help you let go, to forgive? Is now the opportunity for new freedom?
Forgiveness can be extremly hard when dealing with hurts. One does have to remember to let go and let God give the grace to want to forgive and then do it.
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