Total Disrespect

What makes people act the way they do? What leads them to behave in a manner that is lower than an animal? That is truly senseless?

We are looking to rent a small, 2-bedroom home with a laundry and no stairs to climb. So, following an inquiry, we journeyed to an acreage just outside of town. The landlord, an elderly gent who walked with a rolling walker, let us into the house that had been rented until recently to a young man and his live-in companion.

What we found inside the house made us sick. There were holes knocked into the sheet rock in several rooms. A dart board had been drawn on the wall of the living room, and, from the puncture marks, had obviously been used quite a bit. Empty beer and whiskey bottles littered the floors. Several doors had been kicked off the hinges and broken. One kitchen cupboard door was missing, and in the cupboard we found a small plastic bag of some kind of white powder. The basement was littered with dog droppings. Outside we saw a burn pile with the remnants of the garage door amidst the ashes. Someone had totally trashed the property.

The owner informed us that the young man who had rented it was behind bars in the local jail for violating his parole. Whatever he was on parole for was unknown.

Which leaves me with the opening questions. What is it that generates such actions, such disregard for the property of others? I can only think that somehow it involves a complete lack of respect for self. Whatever his background, he cannot have any healthy sense of self-respect and perform in such a manner. His destructive actions are ultimately self-destructive as evidenced by his present residence in jail.

I certainly find myself feeling sadness for the landlord, who is now stuck with a property that he cannot rent out without a sizable investment in repairs. From his physical condition, he is unable to do the work himself, so will need to hire it done.

Those repair costs will need to be passed along to any future renters, even responsible, respectful ones. Herein lies the community effects of sin. Others are touched by the sin of one individual.

Finally, I feel sorry for the young man who perpetrated these actions. To be so unhappy with self and with life to act in this way is truly lamentable. Not that he should not be held accountable and suffer the consequences of his behavior. But, what a waste of a human life and God-given potential.

Then I recall the words of St Paul: "Just as through one man's disobedience all became sinners, so through one man's obedience all shall become just" (Romans 5:19). Jesus died for this young man also. He just does not realize it yet and has not accepted it yet. My task at this point is to not let my own disgust, anger, frustration with his actions influence my own loving response to life. I cannot let his disrespect for himself, others and life become my own through subtle resentment or hidden bitterness. My calling is to love him and forgive him, if only from a distance. I can do that without understanding him or knowing the reasons for his behavior. I only need to open myself to the action of the Spirit of God. That is my prayer for today.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

Several days ago I was speaking with a man at the Wellness Center where My Love and I try to exercise 4 or 5 times a week. This fellow, whom I had only met for the first time the day before, was complaining loudly and at length about a perceived injustice that he had experienced from a local business. The longer he waxed on about this the more upset he became. When asked if he had spoken to the management about this, he said he had, but did not get the desired response from them. So he said that his plan was to "tell everyone he met" about his problem. He didn't want to "get over it", he wanted to "get even".

Since that encounter with him, I have been reflecting on how easy it is to imprison myself in the bondage of resentment. By hanging on to perceived injuries, I am the only one who continues to suffer; I am the one who gives the past its hold over me by continually pumping life into it in the present moment. I grant others power over my behaviors and reactions by keeping the supposed injury alive in my consciousness. I am the one who repeatedly tears open the wound of a long-past situation thereby preventing healing from taking place.

Only in forgiveness can I let go of hurtful experiences and be free of the influence that they wield over me. Only in the act of forgiving another can I break the bonds that enslave me to the past, thereby freeing me to experience the new life that the present holds out to me. As I open my hands to release the past pain, I ready myself to grasp the gift of peace God is offering right now. God lives only in the present, not in past hurts, nor in future worries.

At times I don't even WANT to forgive the other person. Then I must begin by praying for the grace to want to forgive. When I reach the point of desiring to forgive, then I soon realize that the actual pardoning of another is not just a once-and-for-all event. Sometimes this letting go must be done over and over again in order for it to sink to the roots of the injury.

For a beautiful, descriptive presentation of the freeing power of forgiveness in our lives, pick up the book, The Shack, by William P Young. It depicts the journey from bondage to freedom that is available to each one of us when we are open to the mystery of God's healing love.

What past hurtful moments/events come to your mind without effort? Is this the time that God wants to help you let go, to forgive? Is now the opportunity for new freedom?