Lent = Attitude

We are into the second week of Lent already. So far the biggest penance has been putting up with the weather and all the cold, snow and blustery winds. But that has been a penance since early December! Now it is only ongoing...

Yet, as I have said so often over the years: Lent is something that happens to me. In other words, it is my attitude toward what enters into my life on a day to day basis that determines whether something is penance, pleasure, pain or passion. Life happens each day. How do I react to it? How do I welcome, or fight it? How do I let it affect me?

I often recall the words of St Teresa of Avila who said: "It is heaven all the way to heaven; it is hell all the way to hell." What she meant was that we decide whether what confronts us in life is positive or negative, whether it is life-giving or not. Our attitude, which is determined by our own decision, ultimately creates heaven or hell for us. Nobody else is responsible for our outlook on life, nor for our attitude in walking through it. We can't control the circumstances of our life, but we definitely can control what impact they have upon us. That control lies completely within the power of our choice of attitude.

How is your Lent going?

Pickled Herring

A jar of pickled herring sits in our refrigerator, waiting to be enjoyed. Those little morsels are wonderful on a cracker or corn chip while sipping on a glass of wine. A relaxing happy hour while watching the news with My Love.

But I can't relish those pickled herring without recalling my Father, who died in 1971. At the beginning of each Lenten season, he would get a jar of pickled herring squares. He would munch on those herring pieces throughout the Lenten season, until finally Easter would arrive about the time that the bottom of the jar was reached. To this day, I don't know if he actually enjoyed the pickled herring, or if it was one of the penances that he took upon himself for that penitential season. This is one of the mysteries of my youth that remain with me today.

My Father remains for me a pillar of strength and faith. He was quiet, not easily riled, and always willing to help anyone in need. His largeness of heart reached out and touched many people, as was evidenced by the fact that his funeral was the largest one ever in our parish church. For me, his life is best summarized in his favorite prayer, the "Serenity Prayer".

"Lord, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference."

He was not one who was afraid to become involved, especially in his Church. My memory of him includes him actively engaged as one of the men who counted the collection after the Sunday Masses, going with one of his trucks to help haul things around the church property that needed to be transported, ushering in church, and many other occasions of service. If there was a need that he could meet, he was there.

I don't recall him ever getting angry. He seemed to be able to accept life as it came at him, and to accept people the way they presented themselves. Truly he seemed to have the wisdom to know the difference.

One night, a month or two after he had died very unexpectedly in September, 1971, I had a dream in which my Father came to me. I began to argue with him, saying that he was not supposed to be there because he was dead. But he said that he was only there to tell me that everything was OK. There was nothing to be concerned about. That was so typical of him, and I found it to be very reassuring.

However I was unable to ask him about the pickled herring and his reason for eating it during Lent. That is just one of the questions that will have to wait until I meet him again after I die.

Why Lenten Penance?

Last Friday at work a fellow worker asked me the question: "Why do Catholics not eat meat on Fridays during Lent?" It was a legitimate question since several of us were eating fish sandwiches. But behind the question was a deeper one: What is the value of penance, of self-denial?

At first, I answered the query in a flippant manner, saying that it was due to the story in the gospel after Easter. Jesus appeared to the apostles who were out fishing. When he inquired whether they had caught anything, they said No. Then he told them to throw the nets on the other side of the boat, whereupon they caught so many fish that the nets were nearly breaking. So, I said that ever since, we have been eating fish on Fridays to get rid of that supply.

But then, seriously, I told them that our choice to limit our diets was an attempt to recognize that we have hungers that cannot be met by ordinary food. When we deny ourselves something that we would like to have, it is a way for us to acknowledge that fact as we plug into the deeper hungers within, in particular the hunger for love, joy, peace, etc. These hungers can ultimately be met only by our relationship with God in Jesus.

In our world of instant gratification, it is rather unusual for us to deny ourselves anything at anytime. That seems to run contrary to the current. Yet if we are going to truly Choose Life in each moment, we need to say No to those things that are not life-giving in the long run. That is not always easy to distinguish in the immediate circumstances. Since we can be easily controlled by some of our impulses, it is helpful to choose to curb those impulses by simple things, like not eating meat on Fridays.

The only reason for any penance during Lent is to make us more aware of the Lord's life within us. If it does not accomplish that, then it is only an empty gesture. If my penance becomes a burden for others, then I better question its true value and reassess my priorities, choices, and direction. Lent is not to be a burden, but an opportunity for growth in faith and love. Anything else is a waste of time.

Lent Happens!

Today is Ash Wednesday, the end of Mardi Gras, and the beginning of Lent. It begins the traditional season of penance in preparation for the upcoming season of Easter when we welcome the New Life of the Resurrection.

For some people, this is the season of resolutions, much like the beginning of the New Year. This is the time to give up things (candy, desserts, extra helpings at dinner -- maybe with the underlying motivation to loose some undesired weight--or maybe some bad habits, unkind thoughts, temper tantrums or whatever else we can think of).

For others, it may be a time to add some extra things to our lives, like visiting someone who is a shut-in, stopping at the nursing home to say hello to a friend, picking up groceries for a neighbor. All these are good things, and can have a beneficial effect upon our lives by helping us to overcome the self-centeredness that we all struggle with.

However, for me, LENT IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME. In my experience, I have gained more, grown more and been transformed more when I have welcomed each day, each person, each situation and each circumstance with open arms and an open heart. In this way, I have found that I am more ready to recognize, acknowledge and accept the God who is among us both in myself and in others. I don't need to sit down and try to figure out what I'm going to DO this Lent. I don't have to set up MY plan for Lent. I simply need to open myself to God's plan each day as it unfolds before me. Most of the time, God surprises me. And in these surprises I am challenged, stretched and transformed.

All I need to DO is Let God Be God, and Let Lent Happen.