Us vs Them

In high school there was the face off between the Geeks and Jocks.  Depending on which side of the divide one was on, the other side was seen as second class, lower than or less than human.  The ones that could "strut their stuff" were able to call the shots for entire school body.

That same tendency to divide the human race into Us and Them runs deep in our nature.  During times of war we label the enemy in order to dehumanize them.  So we had, during WWII, the Japs and the Krauts; during the Korean War, the Slant Eyes and the Chinks; Vietnam saw us facing the Cong, the VC; and in our current wars we are up against the Ragheads, the Terrorists, the Islamic Fundamentalists.

Once we have slapped a denigrating label on another person or group of people we have greater freedom in denying their human dignity.  It then becomes much easier to kill them.  For most people, it is very difficult to take the life of another person whom we recognize as an equal to us.  Hence our need to dehumanize them if we are to eliminate them from our personal world.

This same need to divide into Us vs Them is evident on the political front that is now over.  Whether it is Democrat vs Republican, Liberal vs Conservative, or whatever other category you wish to develop, the purpose is the same -- to cast the other in the role of enemy and so to eliminate them from the picture.  That division only brings about the loss of half of our human resources and leaves us that much more impoverished.  The point at which we have divided our world into Us vs Them, whether something so simple as Left Handers vs Everyone Else, that is the point at which we are all losers.  When we exclude someone else from our life we have deprived outselves of some form of richness.

Jesus came into a world that was divided between the Jews and the Gentiles.  Each saw the other as the enemy.  The Jews were further divided into the Pharisees, the Sadducees and the Samaritans.  Each of these groups was pitted against the others.  Instead of choosing one group to the exclusion of the others, Jesus reached out and included all of them in His Father's plan of salvation.  Whenever confronted by one or the other, he would invite them into his circle, into his Kingdom.  No one was excluded except those who chose to exclude themselves.

How would our world be different today if, instead of Us vs Them, our vision was Us and Them, WE together?  If we viewed others through the perspective of Jesus, of including rather than excluding them, would we not handle the problems, differences and difficulties with a renewed energy and more hopeful commitment?  Let's begin with our own families.  Not Parents vs Children, or Older Generation vs Younger Generation.  But by bridging the gap between Us and Them, by changing our perspective to a WE Together, only then can we initiate the Kingdom of God in our midst today.  Only then can we hope to overcome the barriers between us all.

July 4th Family Gathering

What a good looking group gathered together for the annual July 4th picnic at Don & Kate's. With the overcast skies, picture taking was excellent.Maria and Camille earned the prize for traveling the farthest to attend. How Camille has grown! What an active little wiggler she is, twisting, turning, bending and moving. She has the makings of becoming either a gymnast or a pretzel.

It's not easy being a super host, cooking great tasting burgers and brats, and at the same time managing to stay cool, calm and collected with all the hubbub around. But Don did it.

Grandpa Gerald, Jim and his son Alex enjoyed some outdoor time after filling themselves up on the wonderful dishes prepared for the occasion.

With all the opportunities for visiting and catching up, everyone agreed that the day was a super success. Our gratitude to Don and Kate for making possible this gathering of the clan. My Love and I appreciated the chance to be a part of this memorable tradition. Here's looking forward to next year.

Potluck Picnic

Where are your fireworks this year? In a nearby town? By a lake? Out in the backyard? Or in your heart?

Since this is our first 4th of July in Iowa, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to join with other members of the family for the traditional picnic at the home of My Love's brother, Don. While in Texas, we heard each year about the wonderful and enjoyable time everyone had, tasting all the great food dishes on the potluck table and swapping lies.

We will be taking with us My Love's parents who have been annual participants for many years. When they lived in Texas with us, it was always understood that they would embark on their trek north to Iowa in time to be present for this Jefferson, SD, gathering. So, they will be functioning as "guides" to show us newcomers the ropes.

What a beautiful way to spend a day: giving thanks for our freedoms and our families. We will also be praying for those who are protecting our freedom in far away places, and sacrificing their own family time while they do it.

Finally, we will be praying for our nation, that we can return to the faith and family values upon which we were founded. May God bless us all. We need it.

Values Guide Choices

Movement is a sign of life, even when the direction is not clear. We are certainly alive in our Morning Bible Study because there is much movement going on.

Yesterday morning, John departed Montana for a four-day trek back to San Antonio, TX where he will be starting a new job. This will also provide him with the opportunity to spend more time with his three grandchildren before the military transfers them and their parents sometime this fall. Meanwhile, his wife, Clar, is staying behind for a couple of months in Montana before joining them.

Gail and Marilyn are entertaining their granddaughter, Therese, for a few weeks. At the same time, they are preparing for the influx of family for the celebration of their 50th Wedding Anniversary over the 4th of July. There is still time for any friends or family to add thoughts or reflections to my previous blog so that I can include them in the booklet I am preparing for the "newly weds".

My Love and I are juggling schedules with her sister, Annette, who is in the process of remodeling her home in Larrabee before moving back to it this coming weekend. That is all being done while at the same time trying to provide 24 hour care for their parents, especially her Dad. With the rest of the family, we are approaching decisions about their future care. Where all that will lead remains to be seen.

As all these decisions and new directions are entered into, it becomes more and more clear what the values are of those making them. What is truly important and what shapes meaning for all those involved begins to surface as the peripheral and unimportant is stripped away. Questions begin to surface like: Whose good are we focusing on? What do we really want for them? What is the best choice at this time? As was said on our call yesterday, "We may not be doing what we like to do, but we are doing what we want to do." We are doing what we really value in our heart of hearts.

Look back on the important decisions that you have made in the last months, last year. What do they tell you about your own values? What are you able to sift out for yourself and say with clarity: These are my values. Are you satisfied with them?

Birthday Greetings To A Special Lady

This past Wednesday we celebrated the birthday of the World's Best Mother-in-law! What a joyful celebration it was with good friends, delicious food, and plenty of fun and games. Present with us for this special occasion was My Love's friend from Bolivia, Sr Suzanne, who is also a longtime friend of the family. Having her with us made the day even more special.
My Love had prepared her famous barbecue ribs. They are so good that when we came up here from Texas, the Tony Roma's ("We're Famous For Ribs") restaurant in Sioux City closed down. Along with the twice baked potatoes, veg salad, asparagus spears, it was terrific. Topped off with angel food cake and homemade ice cream. What a banquet!

For the afternoon, games of marbles were lined up and enjoyed by all. Then followed happy hour with wine and munchies. As you can see from the attached pictures, everyone enjoyed themselves.

Together with family members who called to give birthday greetings, we all thank God for the gift of life that we are so privileged to share in through Mother Rita. May God grant her many more years of health and happiness.

Isaiah John

Our friends, John and Clar, are the new, happy grandparents of Isaiah John, born just a couple of weeks ago. A healthy and bubbly boy, he gave his mother fits for the last couple of months, but arrived to the warm welcome of his parents, John and Clar's daughter, Trenna and her husband, Moyad. Also on the welcome committee were Isaiah's two older sisters, Makya and Ashtyn. He is truly finding a loving home in which to grow.

After spending the last six months in San Antonio, John and Clar are now heading back to their home in Montana. They travel to Texas for the winter, not just to avoid the Montana cold, but especially to spend time with these three precious grand babies. To have experienced the wonder of Isaiah John's entry into the world has been an added gift of this beautiful time spent with their offspring.

We have had the "pleasure from afar" of being a part of their experience. John and Clar are also part of our Morning Bible Study. Thus we have prayed and shared with them the joy of welcoming Isaiah John (named after his granddaddy!) into life.

Now we are praying them safely home to St Ignatius, Montana, where they will again be surrounded by the beauty of the mountains. May God go with them as they journey with a large part of their hearts left behind in San Antonio. And may Isaiah John and his two sisters continue to know the boundless love of their grandparents.

Blessed Are They

Blessed are those who have nothing to say, and don't take all day to do it! This is one of those wise sayings that is ignored at one's own peril. So today, only a few ramblings.

We have been enjoying fresh lettuce, spinach, radishes and onions from our garden. How delicious! How much we have missed while in Texas. Makes coming back to Iowa all the more worthwhile.

Finally last evening, we finished hanging the four new fans in the condo of My Love's parents. Their children had gifted them with four new ceiling fans, one for each bedroom, one for the dining area, and another for the living room. Each fan includes a light kit, so now they have ceiling lights in all the rooms. Thanks to the help of a local guy, we have them in place and the Folks are very pleased and happy.

This weekend we will celebrate the graduation of my sister's youngest daughter, Megan. It will be another wonderful opportunity to join together with family in an event that we would have missed in Texas. The blessings of God continue to unfold.

So now it is time to finish and heed the words of the Wise Man quoted above.

Signs of New Life

Trees and lilac bushes budding out. Robins, red-wing blackbirds, meadow larks and other songbirds singing. Grass beginning to turn green. Rabbits and squirrels chasing their prospective mates around the yard. My Love nurturing her garden seeds in small cups in our office window and waiting anxiously to get her hands in the dirt as she and her sister, Annette, plant their garden together.

All these signs of New Life we celebrated as we gathered on Easter to rejoice in the Resurrection of Jesus. Besides the Risen Life held out to us, we also thanked God for the gift of life of Annette's husband, Jim, who had a birthday on Saturday. In between the delicious food, the marble games, the naps and the laughter, My Love and I reveled again in the blessing of renewing family traditions.

Together with her mother, My Love had enjoyed coloring eggs last week, making up baskets for various neighbors, friends and family members. This tradition was revived from our days together in Texas when the two of them would play together in the kitchen preparing for the Easter feast, something which they again did on Friday and Saturday.

It was even enjoyable to witness the disappointment on niece Rita's face as she came into the home of her Grandparents on Sunday morning to realize that the Easter eggs were not hidden, but out in plain sight. As a college graduate-to-be (next month), she still looked forward to the family tradition of hiding, searching for, and finding the eggs!

All these small celebrations of life and family traditions are nothing as compared to the New Life that this Easter season presents to us in Jesus. Each of these small "resurrections" is but a reminder of the Resurrection of Jesus that is ours to participate in each day as we choose life over death, hope over despair, love over resentment. Truly, He is Risen. So are we!

It's All About Family

This past weekend My Love's niece, Janet, her husband Rob and their three children blessed our home with a visit. Ben ("I'm four and a half"), Ella (3), and little Alaina (10 months) entertained us and enjoyed swimming in our local rec center on Saturday afternoon. This was followed by games and a late supper.

Then on Sunday morning we went to church and out to the home of My Love's sister, Annette and her husband, Jim, for brunch. Even with the snow and sleet, we all had a wonderful time.

What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy family once again. During our 12 years in south Texas, it was only occasionally possible to be present for gatherings and events of our families. Our annual trip north forced us to cram in as much "quick" visits as possible for graduations, anniversaries, or whatever else we could squeeze in. But we were aware that we missed out on much.

Now, thanks to the blessing of Hurricane Dolly, we are back here in Iowa. This affords us many opportunities, some of them daily, to participate in family events, enjoy family presences, assist with family needs, and reconnect with family members.

As I get older, I see more and more clearly that family is the first and most important human relationship. As My Love is wont to say: Family is a love you can count on. What a blessing we have, and how grateful we are to be back here in Iowa where we can spend a weekend getting to know the next generation of our families. And how encouraging it is to see the tremendous job these young parents are doing in guiding and shaping the youngsters who have been placed in their care.

God is truly good, and getting better all the time!

Mother of All Mothers

My mother will be celebrating her 91st birthday tomorrow, Feb 11. So this past Sunday, My Love and I gathered with my brother, Allan, and Cousin Art and his wife, Irma at my mother's home for dinner and partying. Besides good food and fun games, we did some reminiscing (of course, what are birthdays for if not to remember!?).

Even though my Mom is completing 91 years, she is a young 75. For the past 30 years she has been visiting the "old" people in the nursing homes, taking communion to them, helping them out to the Masses that are celebrated frequently by different retired priests and just bringing a bit of joy into their lives. She also belongs to a Senior Citizen Singing group that visits the nursing homes, retirement centers and assisted living homes to sing all the old time songs. They have also performed at the Iowa State Fair for several years.

She is truly a woman of faith. When my father, her husband, died very suddenly of a heart attack nearly 38 years ago, she was left with my two youngest sisters still at home, one in 8th grade, one a senior in high school. Two days after the funeral, I remember sitting with her at the kitchen table, reflecting on the whole situation. She said two things that have stuck with me over the years. At one point, she said: "I know that he is better off, and so I couldn't wish him back." Then, a short time later she said: "I don't know how people handle something like this without faith." She has always been a rock of faith for all of us in our family.

But she also has a realistic sense of humor. Because I am the oldest child, I of course have not forgotten her comment many years ago: "Raising children should be like breaking in a waffle iron. You should be able to throw the first one away!" Assuredly she would have missed out on a lot of fun, but maybe she wouldn't have quite as many gray hairs!

As we celebrate her gift of life this week, I salute her, honor her and love her for the pillar of faith, love and trust that she has been for all of us. Every family should be so blessed.