Barney Frankl

Barney, My Love's brother, died last Monday, August 15, after more than a year of fighting cancer.  His funeral, which was celebrated last Friday, August 19, was a wonderful testimony to his generous and loving life.  It was my great privilege to share the following reflections about Barney during the funeral liturgy.

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Bernard Urban Frankl.  Barney.  Young Barney or Little Barney to distinguish him from Big Barney, his Uncle.  Ringman.  Ringman Barn.

He went by many different handles throughout his life.  What words or names do you think of when you think of Barney?  When I ponder about him and his life, I come up with two words:  Grateful Connector. 

Barney focused his energies on connecting with people no matter where he was.  He would call all of us on our birthdays or anniversaries.  When he was driving his truck across the country, if he knew of a high school classmate living in a certain locale that he was passing through, he would call them up to connect with them, even if he hadn't talked with them for thirty or forty years.  He connected with distant relatives in Virginia, in California, in Texas, in New York.  No one was a stranger, only a new friend with whom he could connect.

We've all heard the story of the woman whom he found at a truck stop with a wound on her foot.  She was in dire need of medical attention, but had no one to look after her.  Barney transported her to the hospital, paid for her treatment, and left money there for her care.  A true Good Samaritan.

I heard Barney say one time:  "It doesn't take a lot of brains to be an over-the-road truck driver.  And there certainly isn't a great deal of satisfaction in it.  So I have decided that it is my goal each day to make one person smile, to make one person's day better."  So, when he would enter a restaurant or truck stop cafe, he would look around to see which waitress was having a bad day.  Then he would sit at her table and try to cheer her up.  The first thing he would notice when she came to the table was the size of her ring finger.  Then he would proceed to fold a dollar bill into a ring the exact size to fit her.  When he presented her with the ring, inevitably it brought a smile to her face.  If all the people to whom Barney had given a ring over the years were to be here today, I venture to say that we could not begin to fit them into this church.

Barney has two sisters:  Annette and Janella.  He would tell each of them that she was his favorite sister.  And he was right.  Because Barney had the wonderful gift of making each person that he was with feel like they were the most important person in the world, his favorite person.  I know that I am his favorite brother-in-law.  And so is Jim.

All this Barney did with an attitude of gratitude.  He lived with a grateful heart.  His example throughout life was a constant reminder to all of us that while we have no control over the hand that life deals us, we do have control over how we play that hand.  Barney played the hand dealt to him with joy and gratitude, never complaining but always rejoicing in his blessings.  Those of us fortunate enough to have been around him during his last months of life experienced a man continually thanking God for the opportunity to have his family around him as together they prepared for his death.

Barney did not die a millionaire.  But he did die a wealthy man.  For he was rich in the relationships that were the fruit of his life of connecting.  Those relationships he takes with him while at the same time remaining connected in all our hearts.

Now he is reconnecting with his dad, Gerald, his brother, Mike, his in-laws, Bruce and Evelyn, and all the other relatives and friends that have gone before him.  Now he is Barney the Reconnector.

I look forward to the day that Barney can reconnect me to Gerald, Mike, even to my own Dad and my brother Jim.  I am sure that when that day comes, I will still be his favorite.

I'm Thankful Because...

I'm grateful that I'm not a turkey, though some may dispute that reality.  Not because I'd be in danger of ending up on someone's table this week.  Not because I could give myself for the enjoyment of others.  Not even because my own purpose could be enhanced by the tastiness of dressing, sweet potatoes, cranberries, pumpkin pie and other delicacies.

No, I am thankful because, compared to the thanksgiving bird, my brain in relation to my body is proportionately much greater.  The pea-sized brain of the turkey is so small that the poor fowl doesn't even have a sense of self-preservation.  I recall when I was a youngster at home, my Dad took his truck to haul young turkeys for a local farmer who raised them.  When the box of the truck was raised up to unload them, the turkeys would come off in a pile.  Then it was necessary to get into the pile with a broom and scatter them or they would just lie there on top of one another and smother.

This larger brain provides me with the opportunity to be grateful not just this one day each year.  My cranial capacity allows me to adopt an attitude of gratitude throughout the year.  I can truly follow St Paul's admonition:  "Rejoice always, never cease praying, in all circumstances give thanks" (1 Thes 5:17-18).  This mindset of thankfulness is a choice based not on how wonderful the circumstances of my life are, but rather on how deep within is the conviction that God is in charge of my life.  If God is truly in charge, then I have nothing to fear, and everything for which to be thankful.  "If God is for us, who can be against us" (Romans 8:31).  So, thank you!

Therefore, as we gather together as family at the home of My Love's sister to celebrate this family feast, with each mouthful of food, I will be breathing a prayer of thanks.  May that prayer become as second-nature as the breathing and eating, so that it will continue long after the left-overs have disappeared.

Fall Beauty

My memory does not go back far enough to recall a fall season that has been more pleasant than this one.  For the last four weeks we have had temperatures in the above-normal range with little moisture.  It has been a perfect harvest season for the farmers as they have completed both the bean and corn production.  After a couple of windy and cooler days, we are now back on track with beautiful weather, allowing those same farmers to apply fertilizer, work the soil for next year, and begin to enjoy the fruits of their labors.

Many of the trees have been bedecked in fall glory.  The geese have begun drifting south, and the other songbirds are also absent.  Leaves rustle underfoot as we amble through the yard.  The garden has been cleared off after a most abundant crop of tomatoes, lettuce, potatoes, carrots, onions, beats and finally mounds of squash.  As we close out this month of October, the recognition dawns that there is something new coming, something we are maybe not yet prepared to face.

Yet, with the approach of winter, we are reminded once again of the cycle of life.  Like the rhubarb and the asparagus, we also need a "down time" to be able to rest, reflect and renew our energies.  Recalling a year ago, we already had three weeks of cold, snowy, wet weather which had made it nearly impossible for the farmers to function.  So, it is with gratitude to God that we welcome the month of November and whatever the next few months bring.  We know for certain that the same God who has blessed us through this beautiful fall will go before us into the approaching winter.

Gratitude List

Time to post a new Gratitude List -- things for which I am especially thankful today.

1. My Love is alive and safe. On Sunday evening, while driving into town for Bible Study, our car hit loose gravel, went out of control and plowed into an embankment. After climbing up the hill, it flipped onto its right side, swung around and landed back on the wheels. Thank you, God, she was wearing her seat belt and is only suffering from bumps and bruises. With extensive damage sustained, the future of the car is uncertain at this writing. The insurance adjuster is expected sometime today.

2. A fun weekend with friends and relatives. On Saturday we traveled to the home of John and Jan for good food and relaxing company. Also present were Darold and Sondra and Denny and Linda. Following our delicious dinner, we guys proceeded to give the girls a lesson in Joker, beating them 3-2 games. A good time was had by all.

3. Shack Too is shaping up. In between times we have been able to get pictures hung, boxes unpacked, shelves put up and sundry things placed. It is definitely feeling and looking like home. Over the weekend, our landlord put the deck outside our walkout lower level. Now we are able to sit outside and enjoy the beauty of the world around us. (This morning there were 4 deer walking through the bean field just outside our front door.) To attract the wildlife closer, we have hung a couple of bird feeders, a squirrel wheel, and a block of salt for the deer.

4. Our small faith/bible sharing group has been studying and reflecting on Change -- how we view it, respond to it and grow through it. What a tremendous gift to have faith-filled friends to walk the road with because change is constant. Only our attitude makes it a blessing or a curse. When we see through the eyes of faith, God is leading at every turn.

So, once again, it is time to says "Thanks, God, for all the blessings, in whatever form they appear. We welcome them with open arms and grateful hearts."

Too Long Gone

Too long since my last post, so it's time for some idle meanderings.

With all the hubbub of moving and trying to get settled in, time at home has been at a premium. Add to that the additional attention required for the care of parents and you have the present reality of "not being as far along in the process" as we had hoped. We are still in that "I know I saw it someplace, but I don't remember where it is" state. We have no difficulty locating items that we are not searching for. But those that we need are sometimes proving elusive. Yet, slowly progress is being made as we put our stamp on Shack Too.

Outside the bean fields are turning from vibrant green to golden yellow to crisp brown. At the same time the trees are beginning to lose their leaves, some after changing colors, others dropping in their summer hews. While the beauty is glorious, I find it a bit depressing because of what is to follow before very long. I am not yet ready to face winter.

Another benefit we have been blessed with through our move is: Leroy! Leroy is a dog. He belongs to our landlord, who previously lived in the house we are now renting. Hence, Leroy thinks that our house is his home as much as the one across the road where his master resides. So we have the blessing of a dog without the responsibility! He is lovable, appreciates a scratch behind the ears, and is always ready to relieve us of our table scraps. What more could we want!

In the midst of all these happenings, we continue to thank God for leading us to this place of peace and quiet. The gift of nature surrounding us puts us immediately in contact with the Divine whether we are walking outside, or merely looking out the windows. How blessed we are.

Down Memory Lane

Sunday was a perfect day for an outing. With sunshine, temperatures in the upper 70s, and a light breeze, nature was calling to come out and play.

So My Love and I packed up a delicious dinner and left mid morning to visit my Mother. When she came home from church, she found us in her kitchen preparing some of her favorite dishes, like scrumptious meatloaf, sweetcorn on the cob, garden fresh tomatoes and broccoli and cauliflower salad. This was followed up by sweet, ripe watermelon and cantaloupe with my Mother's own oatmeal logs as a kicker. Makes my mouth water again just to write about it!

Such a delicious meal demanded a short rest afterwards. Then with Mom in tow, we headed out for a tour of the countryside. For years we have traveled the road between Willey and Dedham with Mom commenting: "I grew up on a farm over there and drove 6 miles to school by horse and buggy." But I had never seen the "farm over there". So we retraced the journey she took each day to and from school. As we went up and down the hills, Mom pointed out farm places, detailing which families occupied them years ago. Many of the farmsteads are no longer standing. Finally we reached the corner where she spent most of her youth. The original home still houses a family, though with some additions and moderations. Mom regaled us with some of the activities that occupied their time during her youth. When I commented that I had never been by here before, she said that it had been "at least 50 years" since she had been there.

From there we traveled to Roselle to visit the cemetery and the graves of her parents and her brother, Norbert. We had been there several years ago, but it was time to return and touch base with some of our family roots.

Then we headed across the countryside to Wall Lake to visit the grave of Mom's brother, Gilbert, who died two years ago. From there we circled Blackhawk Lake, recalling memories of my childhood when we would visit the lake on a Sunday afternoon to swim or enjoy fireworks.

Finally we returned to Mom's home in time for supper. After the day's enjoyable trek down memory lane, we were renewed and relaxed, ready for a good night's sleep. My Love and I made our own journey home, grateful for another experience of God's blessings, for the chance to spend time with Mom and enjoy her company. As we come this week to the one-year anniversary of the hurricane striking our home in Texas, we look back upon so many gifts of God's love that have been ours in these past twelve months, gifts that would not be ours except for the push that Dolly gave us. Thank you, God.

Fields of Memories

I love this time of the year. Driving down the road with the corn fields beginning to tassel, the (few) oats fields turning brown as they ripen for the harvest, the fresh-mowed hay lying in neat windrows, and the bean fields covering the ground with their lush green bushes -- it is impossible to miss the abundant love of God surrounding us.

As a youngster, this was the season when I began to work on the farm with my uncles and grandpa. At age 10, I began to drive the tractor on the bundle wagons as the neighbors gathered together to thresh the oats. We young boys would steer the tractors between the rows of shocked oats as the men pitched the bundles into the hay racks. Then, when the rack was full, we would pull up to the threshing machine where the men would pitch them into the feeder. Sometimes, when we stopped for lunch or dinner, while the men were resting, we boys would be engaged in various forms of entertainment. It was not unknown that a simple drink of water could turn into a cooling water fight. Those among us who were a little more mischievous would climb up on one of the racks and tie some of the bundles together. This would make it very difficult, if not impossible for the man whose load it was to pitch them into the threshing machine. It was a carefree time with no concerns or worries beyond the fun of the day.

In later years, I worked with those same uncles in their hybrid seed corn fields. This was the season to bring in the detasseling crews to pull the tassels from the female rows so that the cross pollination could happen. Teenage boys and girls from the surrounding area would walk up and down the rows yanking out all the tassels in the assigned rows. It was my first lesson in the work ethic. I discovered that some people were hard workers, efficient and steady, while others either could not see the tassels or chose to overlook them. I remember especially one character whose nickname was "Blackie" (not because of any racial implications. After all, we were all white kids who had never encountered a black person.) who pulled tassels all the way across the field, carrying them all with him as he went. When he reached the far end of the field, he laid them all out on the ground making himself a comfortable bed, and proceeded to take a long nap. When we finally found him several hours later, he was given an early ride home.

It was a season of first loves. Many of the female detasslers stole my heart as I fell head over heels for them, at least for a week or two. Some of them even paid special attention to this young town-kid-in-the-country.

Every small town in the area had a men's fast pitch softball team. Once or twice each week we would attend the local game. At the end of the season, there would be a celebration for the team and all the followers. The menu would be bushels of cooked corn-on-the-cob, a big cauldron of melted butter, and lots of beer. If one was old enough to pronounce the name of a beer, it could be had.

All these memories, and more, come to mind now as I drive past the fields in all their verdant beauty. After being away from Iowa for the last 15 years, the rolling elegance of the abundant crops assures me that life goes on. Generations come and go. People live and die. But God continues to bless our land and the people who tend it. God's faithfulness is evident to those who have eyes to see. And hearts to be grateful.

Birthday Greetings To A Special Lady

This past Wednesday we celebrated the birthday of the World's Best Mother-in-law! What a joyful celebration it was with good friends, delicious food, and plenty of fun and games. Present with us for this special occasion was My Love's friend from Bolivia, Sr Suzanne, who is also a longtime friend of the family. Having her with us made the day even more special.
My Love had prepared her famous barbecue ribs. They are so good that when we came up here from Texas, the Tony Roma's ("We're Famous For Ribs") restaurant in Sioux City closed down. Along with the twice baked potatoes, veg salad, asparagus spears, it was terrific. Topped off with angel food cake and homemade ice cream. What a banquet!

For the afternoon, games of marbles were lined up and enjoyed by all. Then followed happy hour with wine and munchies. As you can see from the attached pictures, everyone enjoyed themselves.

Together with family members who called to give birthday greetings, we all thank God for the gift of life that we are so privileged to share in through Mother Rita. May God grant her many more years of health and happiness.