Barney Frankl

Barney, My Love's brother, died last Monday, August 15, after more than a year of fighting cancer.  His funeral, which was celebrated last Friday, August 19, was a wonderful testimony to his generous and loving life.  It was my great privilege to share the following reflections about Barney during the funeral liturgy.

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Bernard Urban Frankl.  Barney.  Young Barney or Little Barney to distinguish him from Big Barney, his Uncle.  Ringman.  Ringman Barn.

He went by many different handles throughout his life.  What words or names do you think of when you think of Barney?  When I ponder about him and his life, I come up with two words:  Grateful Connector. 

Barney focused his energies on connecting with people no matter where he was.  He would call all of us on our birthdays or anniversaries.  When he was driving his truck across the country, if he knew of a high school classmate living in a certain locale that he was passing through, he would call them up to connect with them, even if he hadn't talked with them for thirty or forty years.  He connected with distant relatives in Virginia, in California, in Texas, in New York.  No one was a stranger, only a new friend with whom he could connect.

We've all heard the story of the woman whom he found at a truck stop with a wound on her foot.  She was in dire need of medical attention, but had no one to look after her.  Barney transported her to the hospital, paid for her treatment, and left money there for her care.  A true Good Samaritan.

I heard Barney say one time:  "It doesn't take a lot of brains to be an over-the-road truck driver.  And there certainly isn't a great deal of satisfaction in it.  So I have decided that it is my goal each day to make one person smile, to make one person's day better."  So, when he would enter a restaurant or truck stop cafe, he would look around to see which waitress was having a bad day.  Then he would sit at her table and try to cheer her up.  The first thing he would notice when she came to the table was the size of her ring finger.  Then he would proceed to fold a dollar bill into a ring the exact size to fit her.  When he presented her with the ring, inevitably it brought a smile to her face.  If all the people to whom Barney had given a ring over the years were to be here today, I venture to say that we could not begin to fit them into this church.

Barney has two sisters:  Annette and Janella.  He would tell each of them that she was his favorite sister.  And he was right.  Because Barney had the wonderful gift of making each person that he was with feel like they were the most important person in the world, his favorite person.  I know that I am his favorite brother-in-law.  And so is Jim.

All this Barney did with an attitude of gratitude.  He lived with a grateful heart.  His example throughout life was a constant reminder to all of us that while we have no control over the hand that life deals us, we do have control over how we play that hand.  Barney played the hand dealt to him with joy and gratitude, never complaining but always rejoicing in his blessings.  Those of us fortunate enough to have been around him during his last months of life experienced a man continually thanking God for the opportunity to have his family around him as together they prepared for his death.

Barney did not die a millionaire.  But he did die a wealthy man.  For he was rich in the relationships that were the fruit of his life of connecting.  Those relationships he takes with him while at the same time remaining connected in all our hearts.

Now he is reconnecting with his dad, Gerald, his brother, Mike, his in-laws, Bruce and Evelyn, and all the other relatives and friends that have gone before him.  Now he is Barney the Reconnector.

I look forward to the day that Barney can reconnect me to Gerald, Mike, even to my own Dad and my brother Jim.  I am sure that when that day comes, I will still be his favorite.

Real Creativity

Yesterday we buried My Love's Father, Gerald.  At the wake the preceding evening, I shared the following reflections.

Gerald loved to hold a baby or a small child in his arms.  His observation would then be:  "You can't be closer to God than when looking in the face of a child."

I would propose another image for Gerald.

God's first commandment in the Bible comes after he has finished creating human beings.  God says:  "Increase, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it" (Gen 1:28).  Herein lies the invitation for us to be co-creators with God, to use our gifts and talents to further God's creative action in our own world.

Gerald took this invitation literally, and it became the guiding light of his life.  With his devoted and loving wife, Rita, he created a family of 9 children, 35 grandchildren and 48 great-grandchildren, most of whom are here with us for this celebration.

His creativity flowed out and improved our world through his inventions.  Those inventions are still touching and renewing our earth through the business he established which is being carried on by his son, Don.

Many of us here have been the beneficiaries of Gerald's creative thought through his many marble boards, clocks, diamond willow walking sticks, and many other projects.

I had the great blessing with My Love of living nearby Gerald for ten years in south Texas.  In that time I observed his creativity in action often.  Because his creative mind was continually churning, it became a challenge for us to think up projects to keep him occupied, as much for his own good as for Rita's sanity.

For instance, at one point I made the mistake of purchasing a 22 foot sailboat on a trailer.  The trailer needed serious attention.  So I said to Gerald:  "How can I get the boat off the trailer so I can fix and paint the trailer?"  He said, "Let me think about it for a week."  One week later, he came to me and asked if I could get 2 lengths of old fire hose.  Because I knew the Fire Marshall through my work, I was able to acquire the hose.  Gerald then made 2 slings, and with 2 come-alongs we hoisted the boat off the trailer, hung it from the rafters in my shop, and proceeded to repair the trailer.

Tonight I would like to thank you, Gerald, for revealing to us the face of our Creator God.  Through you I have been able to know God the Father, our Creator, in the flesh.

As we look at history, we find men named Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror, and Richard the Lionhearted.  To me, you will always be Gerald the Creator.

What a Jolt!

Waking up yesterday morning to temperatures of 14 degrees below zero was a real shock.  Never getting up to the zero mark for the whole day was enough to call the moving truck to go someplace else.

Then looking at the picture of our cruise ship on my desk brought back memories of warmer times in more pleasant places.  While there is no question that God is present in this Iowa deep freeze, it certainly is much easier to acknowledge his presence in the tropical beauties of the Caribbean.

Cruising for 2 1/2 days brought us to the beautiful isle of Jamaica.  We took the opportunity to catch a taxi to a local beach where we spent a couple of hours swimming and basking in the glorious sunshine.  We thought of everyone back home in Iowa.

On board again for a lovely evening meal, we proceeded to Grand Cayman island.  After catching a small tender (boat from the ship to shore), we joined a group traveling to another beach.  Here the water was a bright green, with white sands.  How refreshing to just soak in the sun and the surf.

Another overnight sail brought us to the highlight of the trip for us:  Cozumel.  Here we joined a beach party which included all the food (wonderful international buffet) and drinks (how about a Kahlua colada!) on the blue water beach with a chaise lounge and beach umbrella.  It was truly a slice of heaven!

After the seven night excursion, we returned refreshed and relaxed.  The wonderful company of good friends, accompanied by the scrumptious food and relaxed fun, made this a break worth repeating.  God's presence was so evident in the vastness of the ocean, the beauty of the tropical paradises, and the warmth of the sun.  In fact, we purchased a certificate indicating our choice of another cruise sometime in the next 24 months in order to appreciate those beauties even more.

The warmth of the memories from our trip have truly softened the harshness of this wintry blast we are now enduring.  I believe that we will make it till spring.

Outta Here!

Ten inches of snow last Sunday and Monday; thirty miles per hour winds Tuesday; eight degrees below zero on Wednesday; and the promise of more to come!  I think it is time to escape and get out of this winter pattern, if only for a while.

Therefore My Love and I are leaving today to embark on a 7-day cruise.  We will be sailing on Sunday from Galveston with 2 other couples to float across the Caribbean.  With stops in Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel, we anticipate many opportunities to forget snow and freezing temperatures.

Upon our return, I am certain that our outlook will be completely different.  Even though there may not be many changes in our frozen tundra here in Iowa, our view of it will have been refreshed.  Until then!

Stay tuned for updates -- after the fact!

Under the Surface

Two stories in the news caught my attention over the weekend.  One was the obviously tragic shooting in Tucson, AZ in which six persons died, a Congresswoman and several others were wounded and hospitalized.

The second story was the conclusion of the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.  During the previous week 140,000+ people viewed the latest in electronic gadgets for improving lifestyles in our modern world.

In the ensuing aftermath of the former incident, there are voices crying for better gun control, less vitriol in the political arena and better protection for political leaders.  Fingers are being pointed at Sarah Palin and/or news media for inflaming people's feelings against various segments of our establishment.  Other voices are pleading for a more civil and unified discourse as we carry out the selection and business of government.

I am struck by two things as I reflect upon both of these happenings.  First of all, it seems that the more communication devices we develop, manufacture and sell, the less we are able to really connect with one another as individuals, as persons.  The more rapidly we let our thumbs poke out our messages, the more distant we become from opening our eyes and looking into the hearts and souls of one another.  This leads to the depersonalization of relationships and the impersonalization of the individual.

Secondly, these conditions only add to and deepen the underlying problem that surfaced in Tucson, Omaha, Boston and so many other scenes of violence lately.  That problem is the total lack of respect for the human person that has permeated our society.  It is impossible for individuals who have no respect for themselves to demonstrate any care or concern for those around them.  Those who have been raised in a culture of death--a society which refuses to care for its unborn, its veterans or its elderly--cannot be expected to manifest respect for their own generation, much less their leaders or elders.

We are merely reaping what we have sown over the last 40-50 years.  Without changes on our own personal levels, developing respect for each individual in our families, our neighborhoods, our workplaces and our churches, we will continue to experience the horrific and tragic kind of events that we have seen lately.  It all begins with a respect and love for ourselves.  Jesus says, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."

Financial Freedom

Sam and Linda were unable to make the payments on their car loan.  Consequently, the vehicle was repossessed by the finance company.  Yet, each day they ate their lunch at the local Burger King.

Tom and Judy bought new furniture and cupboards for their home, charging it to their credit cards.  When Tom's employer let him go because of the economic downturn, they found themselves in financial trouble.  Finally they had to declare bankruptcy in order to handle all their bills.

These are but two examples (and I'm sure you can add many of your own) of people who created their own problems through lack of planning and poor management.  The ability to earn a living does not carry with it the correlative intelligence to act as a good steward in the use of that income.

So often in my lifetime I have witnessed individuals and families who are struggling, not because of lack of resources, but because of imprudence in the utilization of those resources.  I have wanted to ask them two questions:  "What are your priorities?  What do  you want out of your life, now and in the future?"

If they are able to answer those questions, then it is simply a matter of placing their behavior, their choices, their actions alongside to see what fits and what doesn't.  Making decisions based on our life's values, goals and priorities avoids irrational and emotional choices which get us into difficulty.  It also allows for greater planning leading to long term satisfaction, peace and happiness.

There are many programs, mentors, gurus and aides available to assist in this process.  One website that I found particularly helpful is www.financialintegrity.org.  It is a self-help, at-your-own-pace program that is free.  It provides a process which helps to clear away many of the cobwebs that our consumer society places in our road.

When we have defined our own values and goals, it becomes much easier to live according to them.  Then we are much more participants in our own life, and less victims of circumstances.  Recognizing our giftedness by God with all that we need to live enables us to have a heart that is open to others.  This attitude of gratitude brings with it a freedom and peace that is truly beyond understanding.