Learn The Lesson

Lately I've been pondering the fact that so many of the people I know -- family and friends -- are going through terrific struggles/challenges. Some are health challenges, some are emotional difficulties, some are financial adversities. But they are all very real and very painful.

It is possible to affirm that God is present with them in the struggles. It is possible in faith to know that "everything works together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purposes." (Romans 8:28) I can posit these things, but somehow that doesn't answer all the questions that come up in the actual going-through-the-struggle episodes.

I have come to the conclusion that there is another dimension to this whole reality. I have come to believe that God uses these struggles to teach us some lesson(s). That is not to say that God causes these illnesses or adversities. Only that God uses them to show us new realities, new dimensions in our lives.

It might be that I need to recognize that I am not in control of my life. Even though I proclaim my dependence on God, sometimes I live as though I am in charge. Therefore, from time to time I need to be reminded Who is really in the driver's seat.

Maybe what I need to learn is how to ask for help from others. In my idea of myself, sometimes I see me as self-sufficient, able to get along without the support and assistance of others. Here my pride comes into the picture. It is rather humbling to have to ask someone else to do for me what (I think) I should be able to do for myself.

Perhaps God is trying to change my priorities. Maybe the lesson plan for me is to reveal my mixed up hierarchy of important things. What I see as number one may not be so for God. God could be telling me to slow down, take more time for prayer because all the running around that I am doing is all being done to avoid facing God in my life.

One thing I have learned: God wants me for relationship with the Godhead. Everything else is secondary to that. My health, my finances, my home, my job, my whatever is dispensable if it comes between me and God.

Whatever the lesson(s) God wants to teach me, the sooner I learn them, the sooner my life can move on. That doesn't mean that my life will get back to what it was before because, as my friend Gail says, once we have come face to face with God, nothing is ever the same. But if I am slow, or refuse to learn the lesson, then the Teacher finds it necessary to prolong the class. So my mantra is to learn as quickly as possible.

What lesson is God teaching you at this point in your life?

One Year Later

It was a year ago yesterday that Hurricane Dolly blew in upon us with her not-too-friendly "Hello!" And it was one year ago today that we awoke to water coming in around the foundation of our home. That day saw us journey from frantic, frenetic activity in attempting to salvage our home and its belongings to quiet, exhausted acceptance of its loss. You can read more of the details in two former blogs, And the Waters Came and Then Came the Angels.

Today we find ourselves comfortably settled back in Iowa, surrounded by family whom we are enjoying immensely. As I have written so many times previously, the blessing of being with loved ones can only be appreciated by those who have been apart from them for a significant time. The opportunity that has been afforded us through this move can only be understood as a backhanded gift of a loving God.

As we have been approaching this anniversary of our water upheaval, I have vacillated between gratitude for the new life that we have been gifted with here in Iowa, and a renewed sense of loss for our South Texas home and life. Not that I want to go back. But this one-year time of recollection seems to be necessary to bring the past to some sort of closure.

In the midst of reflections on the past year, which in some respects has passed rather quickly, and in other ways seems to have been eons long, God seems to be moving again. We are investigating a move to a rental home out in the country. The possibility of enjoying the beauty of nature and the privacy of the country tugs at us very strongly. God seems to be opening a door in that direction. We will see where it leads. Stay tuned.

Down Memory Lane

Sunday was a perfect day for an outing. With sunshine, temperatures in the upper 70s, and a light breeze, nature was calling to come out and play.

So My Love and I packed up a delicious dinner and left mid morning to visit my Mother. When she came home from church, she found us in her kitchen preparing some of her favorite dishes, like scrumptious meatloaf, sweetcorn on the cob, garden fresh tomatoes and broccoli and cauliflower salad. This was followed up by sweet, ripe watermelon and cantaloupe with my Mother's own oatmeal logs as a kicker. Makes my mouth water again just to write about it!

Such a delicious meal demanded a short rest afterwards. Then with Mom in tow, we headed out for a tour of the countryside. For years we have traveled the road between Willey and Dedham with Mom commenting: "I grew up on a farm over there and drove 6 miles to school by horse and buggy." But I had never seen the "farm over there". So we retraced the journey she took each day to and from school. As we went up and down the hills, Mom pointed out farm places, detailing which families occupied them years ago. Many of the farmsteads are no longer standing. Finally we reached the corner where she spent most of her youth. The original home still houses a family, though with some additions and moderations. Mom regaled us with some of the activities that occupied their time during her youth. When I commented that I had never been by here before, she said that it had been "at least 50 years" since she had been there.

From there we traveled to Roselle to visit the cemetery and the graves of her parents and her brother, Norbert. We had been there several years ago, but it was time to return and touch base with some of our family roots.

Then we headed across the countryside to Wall Lake to visit the grave of Mom's brother, Gilbert, who died two years ago. From there we circled Blackhawk Lake, recalling memories of my childhood when we would visit the lake on a Sunday afternoon to swim or enjoy fireworks.

Finally we returned to Mom's home in time for supper. After the day's enjoyable trek down memory lane, we were renewed and relaxed, ready for a good night's sleep. My Love and I made our own journey home, grateful for another experience of God's blessings, for the chance to spend time with Mom and enjoy her company. As we come this week to the one-year anniversary of the hurricane striking our home in Texas, we look back upon so many gifts of God's love that have been ours in these past twelve months, gifts that would not be ours except for the push that Dolly gave us. Thank you, God.

Fields of Memories

I love this time of the year. Driving down the road with the corn fields beginning to tassel, the (few) oats fields turning brown as they ripen for the harvest, the fresh-mowed hay lying in neat windrows, and the bean fields covering the ground with their lush green bushes -- it is impossible to miss the abundant love of God surrounding us.

As a youngster, this was the season when I began to work on the farm with my uncles and grandpa. At age 10, I began to drive the tractor on the bundle wagons as the neighbors gathered together to thresh the oats. We young boys would steer the tractors between the rows of shocked oats as the men pitched the bundles into the hay racks. Then, when the rack was full, we would pull up to the threshing machine where the men would pitch them into the feeder. Sometimes, when we stopped for lunch or dinner, while the men were resting, we boys would be engaged in various forms of entertainment. It was not unknown that a simple drink of water could turn into a cooling water fight. Those among us who were a little more mischievous would climb up on one of the racks and tie some of the bundles together. This would make it very difficult, if not impossible for the man whose load it was to pitch them into the threshing machine. It was a carefree time with no concerns or worries beyond the fun of the day.

In later years, I worked with those same uncles in their hybrid seed corn fields. This was the season to bring in the detasseling crews to pull the tassels from the female rows so that the cross pollination could happen. Teenage boys and girls from the surrounding area would walk up and down the rows yanking out all the tassels in the assigned rows. It was my first lesson in the work ethic. I discovered that some people were hard workers, efficient and steady, while others either could not see the tassels or chose to overlook them. I remember especially one character whose nickname was "Blackie" (not because of any racial implications. After all, we were all white kids who had never encountered a black person.) who pulled tassels all the way across the field, carrying them all with him as he went. When he reached the far end of the field, he laid them all out on the ground making himself a comfortable bed, and proceeded to take a long nap. When we finally found him several hours later, he was given an early ride home.

It was a season of first loves. Many of the female detasslers stole my heart as I fell head over heels for them, at least for a week or two. Some of them even paid special attention to this young town-kid-in-the-country.

Every small town in the area had a men's fast pitch softball team. Once or twice each week we would attend the local game. At the end of the season, there would be a celebration for the team and all the followers. The menu would be bushels of cooked corn-on-the-cob, a big cauldron of melted butter, and lots of beer. If one was old enough to pronounce the name of a beer, it could be had.

All these memories, and more, come to mind now as I drive past the fields in all their verdant beauty. After being away from Iowa for the last 15 years, the rolling elegance of the abundant crops assures me that life goes on. Generations come and go. People live and die. But God continues to bless our land and the people who tend it. God's faithfulness is evident to those who have eyes to see. And hearts to be grateful.

Witness to Love II

They arrived on Friday evening with bags, crutches and hugs. Then the celebrations began. Gail and Marilyn, our friends from Idaho and members of our morning bible study, had arrived from Omaha where they were visiting at their daughter's home. How excited we were to welcome them to our Iowa world after having hosted them in Texas several years ago.

We spent Friday evening and all day Saturday sharing, laughing, praying, eating and enjoying one another. Gail had sprained a ligament in his left ankle, so his mobility was somewhat limited. However, he had no difficulty climbing up our stairs on his hands and knees, and then descending on his backside. It was wonderful that he cleaned our steps for us!

Gail and Marilyn had traveled to Omaha to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary at their daughter's with friends from Nebraska. On Sunday, they gathered for a Mass, food and festivities with about 20 family and friends. To prepare for that event, they came to visit us. While with us, we helped them write their renewal of marriage vows, expressing what they truly wanted to from their hearts. For some pictures of that gala event, go to Greetings From Nebraska: Anniversary Mass & Party.

After spending this sacred time with them, I am able to say that I have truly seen God. When two people as different as Gail and Marilyn can come together in marriage and remain together for this many years, it is due to one thing only, the Spirit of God. Only God could take two human beings with such different personalities and temperaments and make them one while at the same time respecting those differences.

When Philip came to Jesus and said: "Show us the Father. Then it will be enough for us"...Jesus responded: "To have seen me is to have seen the Father" (John 14:8, 9). In other words, God is present in concrete form in Jesus.

Today Jesus would respond: "To see Gail and Marilyn is to see the Father." They are the concrete form of God in our midst today. For that we are grateful, to God for his fidelity and to Gail and Marilyn for their response to God's movement of grace over these many years.

My Love and I are most grateful to them for choosing to share part of that celebration with us. It gave us the opportunity to present them with a print out of the blog that I had written about them last May, along with all the responses of those who love them. Their Witness to Love is an encouragement and a sacrament to us of God's goodness and faithfulness. As God has kept his promise to them, so he will also do for us. And for all of you.

Total Disrespect

What makes people act the way they do? What leads them to behave in a manner that is lower than an animal? That is truly senseless?

We are looking to rent a small, 2-bedroom home with a laundry and no stairs to climb. So, following an inquiry, we journeyed to an acreage just outside of town. The landlord, an elderly gent who walked with a rolling walker, let us into the house that had been rented until recently to a young man and his live-in companion.

What we found inside the house made us sick. There were holes knocked into the sheet rock in several rooms. A dart board had been drawn on the wall of the living room, and, from the puncture marks, had obviously been used quite a bit. Empty beer and whiskey bottles littered the floors. Several doors had been kicked off the hinges and broken. One kitchen cupboard door was missing, and in the cupboard we found a small plastic bag of some kind of white powder. The basement was littered with dog droppings. Outside we saw a burn pile with the remnants of the garage door amidst the ashes. Someone had totally trashed the property.

The owner informed us that the young man who had rented it was behind bars in the local jail for violating his parole. Whatever he was on parole for was unknown.

Which leaves me with the opening questions. What is it that generates such actions, such disregard for the property of others? I can only think that somehow it involves a complete lack of respect for self. Whatever his background, he cannot have any healthy sense of self-respect and perform in such a manner. His destructive actions are ultimately self-destructive as evidenced by his present residence in jail.

I certainly find myself feeling sadness for the landlord, who is now stuck with a property that he cannot rent out without a sizable investment in repairs. From his physical condition, he is unable to do the work himself, so will need to hire it done.

Those repair costs will need to be passed along to any future renters, even responsible, respectful ones. Herein lies the community effects of sin. Others are touched by the sin of one individual.

Finally, I feel sorry for the young man who perpetrated these actions. To be so unhappy with self and with life to act in this way is truly lamentable. Not that he should not be held accountable and suffer the consequences of his behavior. But, what a waste of a human life and God-given potential.

Then I recall the words of St Paul: "Just as through one man's disobedience all became sinners, so through one man's obedience all shall become just" (Romans 5:19). Jesus died for this young man also. He just does not realize it yet and has not accepted it yet. My task at this point is to not let my own disgust, anger, frustration with his actions influence my own loving response to life. I cannot let his disrespect for himself, others and life become my own through subtle resentment or hidden bitterness. My calling is to love him and forgive him, if only from a distance. I can do that without understanding him or knowing the reasons for his behavior. I only need to open myself to the action of the Spirit of God. That is my prayer for today.

Michael Jackson?

All of the muss, fuss, fanfare and hoopla of the last two weeks following the death of Michael Jackson has me scratching my head and wondering, "Are we really that crazy as a society?" I mean, have we really strayed so far afield that this person has come to epitomize our values, our hopes, our dreams and our goals?

That he was a success as an entertainer no one would argue. That he introduced some new elements of dance and singing into the pop scene are without question.

Whether he was a success as a human being can certainly be called into question. His predilection for children, especially young boys is not something to be idolized or imitated. I mean, Mothers, would you want him to babysit your small children? The fact that he either settled charges out of court, or was not found guilty does not alter the perception of his secret behaviors. Then there is his seeming discomfort with his own racial identity. His attempts to blur or dull his "blackness" seem to indicate a person who would rather be someone else. This does not seem to be an individual to be held up for emulation.

Yet, the overwhelming adulation and gushing from both ordinary people and media types call for pause and questioning on all our parts. What does this say about our society? About us as a people? Is this the best we can do when holding someone up as a model for others, especially our young people?

I remember when Elvis Presley died in 1977. There was a woman in her 70's who was cleaning and cooking in the rectory where I was living. She was in tears for almost a week because "the King is dead". I thought it was strange at that time; I still think it strange as I look back upon it. Even though there have been many "sightings" of Elvis since that time, he has never come back. I suspect that the same thing will happen with Michael Jackson.

Maybe I am just "out of touch" with the real world!?! Or maybe I just cannot forget that Jesus is the only one who said that He would come back again. Maybe I keep remembering what Jesus said to Satan when he tempted Jesus following His 40-day fast in the desert: "Scripture has it: 'You shall do homage to the Lord your God; him alone shall you adore.'" (Matt 5:10) Somehow I think the world will move on, the sun will rise again tomorrow and music will play in the hearts of all people. Michael has died. May he rest in peace.

July 4th Family Gathering

What a good looking group gathered together for the annual July 4th picnic at Don & Kate's. With the overcast skies, picture taking was excellent.Maria and Camille earned the prize for traveling the farthest to attend. How Camille has grown! What an active little wiggler she is, twisting, turning, bending and moving. She has the makings of becoming either a gymnast or a pretzel.

It's not easy being a super host, cooking great tasting burgers and brats, and at the same time managing to stay cool, calm and collected with all the hubbub around. But Don did it.

Grandpa Gerald, Jim and his son Alex enjoyed some outdoor time after filling themselves up on the wonderful dishes prepared for the occasion.

With all the opportunities for visiting and catching up, everyone agreed that the day was a super success. Our gratitude to Don and Kate for making possible this gathering of the clan. My Love and I appreciated the chance to be a part of this memorable tradition. Here's looking forward to next year.

Potluck Picnic

Where are your fireworks this year? In a nearby town? By a lake? Out in the backyard? Or in your heart?

Since this is our first 4th of July in Iowa, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to join with other members of the family for the traditional picnic at the home of My Love's brother, Don. While in Texas, we heard each year about the wonderful and enjoyable time everyone had, tasting all the great food dishes on the potluck table and swapping lies.

We will be taking with us My Love's parents who have been annual participants for many years. When they lived in Texas with us, it was always understood that they would embark on their trek north to Iowa in time to be present for this Jefferson, SD, gathering. So, they will be functioning as "guides" to show us newcomers the ropes.

What a beautiful way to spend a day: giving thanks for our freedoms and our families. We will also be praying for those who are protecting our freedom in far away places, and sacrificing their own family time while they do it.

Finally, we will be praying for our nation, that we can return to the faith and family values upon which we were founded. May God bless us all. We need it.

Winner or Loser?

If the saying "It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round" has any truth to it, it is in the car business. Each person that comes through the door looking for a vehicle is as unique and different from every other one as is possible.

Recently we had a customer who was shopping (for several months actually) for a car for his wife. He had found one that she liked here at our dealership. Now it was just a matter of negotiating an acceptable price.

During the process of negotiation and subsequent sale, one thing became very clear. This fellow had framed his world in a win-lose mold. Every situation, every encounter was defined in such a way that someone would be dominant and the other would be subservient. He was bound and determined to be the one who exerted the power and others were required to cowtow to him. It was not enough that he got most of what he wanted in the process, he had to have all of what he wanted or he was unhappy because he had not really won. For him, the only important thing was winning, dominating, getting his way.

I have thought of him often since that encounter. What an unhappy way to structure reality. What a miserable way to live. To set up life in such a way that there is always a winner and a loser guarantees that in every situation half the people are going to be dissatisfied, half the people are left unhappy.

Fortunately, God does not operate in that framework with us. When we set things up in a win-lose scenario, God draws a bigger circle and makes it possible for everyone to win. In St Paul's letter to the Romans, we are told: "God makes all things work together for good for those who love God, those who are called according to his purposes" (8:28). So even when we may feel like we are on the losing end of the stick, we simply need to re-focus our eyes to see with the vision of faith that God is at work to bring about something even better.

What is your framework for viewing the reality of your life? Are you a winner? Is everyone around you?