Barney Frankl

Barney, My Love's brother, died last Monday, August 15, after more than a year of fighting cancer.  His funeral, which was celebrated last Friday, August 19, was a wonderful testimony to his generous and loving life.  It was my great privilege to share the following reflections about Barney during the funeral liturgy.

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Bernard Urban Frankl.  Barney.  Young Barney or Little Barney to distinguish him from Big Barney, his Uncle.  Ringman.  Ringman Barn.

He went by many different handles throughout his life.  What words or names do you think of when you think of Barney?  When I ponder about him and his life, I come up with two words:  Grateful Connector. 

Barney focused his energies on connecting with people no matter where he was.  He would call all of us on our birthdays or anniversaries.  When he was driving his truck across the country, if he knew of a high school classmate living in a certain locale that he was passing through, he would call them up to connect with them, even if he hadn't talked with them for thirty or forty years.  He connected with distant relatives in Virginia, in California, in Texas, in New York.  No one was a stranger, only a new friend with whom he could connect.

We've all heard the story of the woman whom he found at a truck stop with a wound on her foot.  She was in dire need of medical attention, but had no one to look after her.  Barney transported her to the hospital, paid for her treatment, and left money there for her care.  A true Good Samaritan.

I heard Barney say one time:  "It doesn't take a lot of brains to be an over-the-road truck driver.  And there certainly isn't a great deal of satisfaction in it.  So I have decided that it is my goal each day to make one person smile, to make one person's day better."  So, when he would enter a restaurant or truck stop cafe, he would look around to see which waitress was having a bad day.  Then he would sit at her table and try to cheer her up.  The first thing he would notice when she came to the table was the size of her ring finger.  Then he would proceed to fold a dollar bill into a ring the exact size to fit her.  When he presented her with the ring, inevitably it brought a smile to her face.  If all the people to whom Barney had given a ring over the years were to be here today, I venture to say that we could not begin to fit them into this church.

Barney has two sisters:  Annette and Janella.  He would tell each of them that she was his favorite sister.  And he was right.  Because Barney had the wonderful gift of making each person that he was with feel like they were the most important person in the world, his favorite person.  I know that I am his favorite brother-in-law.  And so is Jim.

All this Barney did with an attitude of gratitude.  He lived with a grateful heart.  His example throughout life was a constant reminder to all of us that while we have no control over the hand that life deals us, we do have control over how we play that hand.  Barney played the hand dealt to him with joy and gratitude, never complaining but always rejoicing in his blessings.  Those of us fortunate enough to have been around him during his last months of life experienced a man continually thanking God for the opportunity to have his family around him as together they prepared for his death.

Barney did not die a millionaire.  But he did die a wealthy man.  For he was rich in the relationships that were the fruit of his life of connecting.  Those relationships he takes with him while at the same time remaining connected in all our hearts.

Now he is reconnecting with his dad, Gerald, his brother, Mike, his in-laws, Bruce and Evelyn, and all the other relatives and friends that have gone before him.  Now he is Barney the Reconnector.

I look forward to the day that Barney can reconnect me to Gerald, Mike, even to my own Dad and my brother Jim.  I am sure that when that day comes, I will still be his favorite.