Peace Of Mind

Speakers at some goal-setting workshops that I have attended in the past often posed the question: If money was no object, what would you do with your life? In other words, if I did not have to concern myself with making a living, how would I spend my time, what would I want to accomplish, where would I choose to focus my energies. This question was designed to help get in touch with deep-seated dreams, desires and longings so that they could begin to become reality.

As I reflect on that question in light of the past year and where we are today, I see it all from a different perspective. What a difference a year makes!

Last November, My Love's sister, Annette, and her husband, Jim, moved from their home in Larrabee to Maryhill. They put their home on the market. We prayed. It did not sell. Now they are joyfully fixing up the house and this weekend will be moving back into it. God heard our prayer by not letting the house sell, thereby making this comfortable return possible.

We continue to spend time with My Love's parents as we navigate the process of her Dad's deteriorating dementia. However now other members of the family are becoming involved with the care-giving by being present for a few days or even a week at a time. What a gift it is for all concerned to have this time together, to support one another, and to build even more family memories. As I've stated before, the general direction of this whole process is rather clear, but the particular steps of the journey have yet to be worked out.

What has become clear to me in these processes is that peace and contentment have been very deep so long as I am living in the present moment. As long as I am just being open to God's presence and action in each day and whatever it brings, I can remain undisturbed. Insofar as I can accept whatever each situation presents to me, I then move through it with equanimity.

Only if I begin to focus on how I want things to be other than they are do I start to become upset or dissatisfied. Only when my will gets at cross purposes with God's will does my life begin to unravel around the edges, and sometimes in the middle. Want and desire, when not in conformity with Divine Purposes, are the seeds of destruction. At that point chaos takes over.

How do you see the relationship between your own wants/desires and your peace of mind? Does your equanimity depend on the circumstances of your life, or the focus of your heart?

Common Sense

In six-plus months of working in the car business, I have learned much about human nature. My previous life experience had revealed many aspects of the human species, but the automobile business underscored heretofore shaded dimensions of the psyche.

George (not his real name) came in to trade his 2003 pickup for a 2005 model. According to book values, we could offer him $11,200 for his trade in, while the vehicle he wanted was valued at $25,000. While trying to help him get financing for the deal, I discovered two problems: he still owed $14,500 on his trade in; and he had not been consistent in making the payments, thereby jeopardizing his credit rating. So, as a consequence, George was unable to purchase the vehicle he desired, and we were unable to complete a sale. It was a lose-lose situation.

Tim (again a fictitious name) borrowed money from his bank to purchase a new (for him) auto. Before the first payment was made, he brought the vehicle back and turned it in, without even having registered or licensed it. He said that he had bought it to impress his girlfriend, and she left him anyway. Therefore he did not need it anymore.

Why do I bring these incidents to this venue? Because both of them illustrate what I have known for many years, but am discovering over and over again: Common Sense is NOT Common!

It would seem to be common sense that you cannot fail to pay your bills on time and then expect to maintain a good credit rating. Common sense would dictate that you cannot continually pay more for things than they are worth while piling up debt upon debt as you charge, finance, charge and finance again and again. Common sense would tell us that we cannot run indefinitely from the consequences of our decisions and our actions; sooner or later they will catch up with us.

Yet, that is what we have done as individuals, as a nation, indeed as a world. Perhaps that is a simple explanation for why we are in the financial condition we are in.

If there is to be a silver lining to the economic cloud that hangs over us, perhaps it will be that we will once again begin to live within our means. This will happen only as we once again distinguish between our needs and our wants.

In my experience, common sense is not something that can be taught except in the University of Hard Knocks. As someone said: Wisdom comes from experience, and experience comes from making mistakes. May we extract the nugget of wisdom that is hidden in this mountain of mistakes around us. May we begin to face the whimsical side of our nature that makes decisions based on short term immediate gratification. May we instead see the long term consequences of our choices, gain some common sense, and grow in freedom.